Gaelic Saying

October 31, 2004

“God strikes straight blows with crooked sticks.”

Chew on that.



October 31, 2004

So I said to her, “I want to rage. I want to fall apart. But I can’t reach either. So I am left motionless in static sadness.”

J.O.C may have said it best

October 31, 2004

I am the only one to blame for this. Some how it alwasy ends up the same.
Soring on the wings of selfish pride, I flew too high and like Icharus, I collide with a world I’ve tried to hard to leave behind. To rid myself of all but love, to give and die.

To turn away and not become another nail to pierce the skin of one who loved more deeply than the oceans, more abundant than the tears of a world embracing every heartache.

Can I be the one to sacrifice, or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

…Broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone amongst remains of a life I should not own. It takes all I am to believe in the mercy that covers me.

Did You really have to die for me? All I am for all you are because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart.

I look beyong the empty cross, forgetting what my life has cost. Wipe away the crimson stains and dull the nails that still remain. More and more I need you now, I owe you more each passing hour. Battle between grace and pride, I gave not so long ago. So steal my heart and take the pain, wash my feet and cleanes my pride, take the selfish, take the weak and all the things I can not hide. Take my beauty, take my tears, the sin-soaked heart and make it Yours.

Serve the ones that I despise, Speak the words I can’t deny, watch the world I use to love fall to dust and thrown away.

Take my world apart.

late night determination

October 29, 2004

I’m not saying this is easy. I’m not saying that my heart is not aching. I’m saying I have to. Sometimes, you just know you have to.

He gives and takes away…Blessed be His name

October 29, 2004

“What God gives us through our pain is greater that what our pain takes.” Will Blackman (paraphrase)

All discipline, for the moment, seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. Yet to those who are trained by it, afterwards, it yields the PEACEFUL fruit of righteousness.” Hebrews 12:11

Whip lash

October 28, 2004

God has been doing so much in my life lately that I feel I may have a case of spiritual whip lash. He has been breaking down strongholds, building the much illusive discipline I have prayed for, and in general, been changing me. It has been hard at times. But I has produced joy that I have never experienced before now.

All that being said, I would like to propose to God a new cosmic policy. If you didn’t realize you were sinning or being foolish, you shouldn’t have to suffer the consequences of your choices.

sounds fair, right?

Sometimes you just get pulled into something…

October 28, 2004

Um, so i was trying to post a comment on my friend steven’s blog. the next thing i know “only three minutes” later, i have my own blog site. hmmm. i wonder how else fate will have its way with me today.