December 31, 2004

C: “Heres the thing. If I loved a man enough to marry him, I would love him too much to do me to him.”
S: *Breathless laughter*
C: “Dude, why are you laughing. I’m serious.”
S: “Oh, my word.”


New Quotes of the Week

December 29, 2004

“You’ve had way to much therapy to still be screwed up.”

“I can knit him a pair of red plaid pants.”

The fall out from Charlie Brown’s Christmas Special

December 29, 2004

So I have this friend. We’ll call him David. “David”…was astonished to discover that I had never seen Charlie Brown’s Christmas Special. You see, “David” doesn’t know me very well yet. Had he known that I had never seen Star Wars either, he may have passed out all together. But I digress. Anyway, I promised “David” that I would make a point to watch CBCS this year.

So He asked me what I thought of it. In the pursuit of honesty, I launched into a bit of a diatribe about the psychological chaos of this show. Lucy is entirely too controlling. Sally and Linus are text-book co-dependent. Schroeder was a narcissist. And I have to be honest. It made me mad how everyone was so mean to Charlie Brown. And he never stood up to them. He just wallowed in self-pity. In fact, the only character I liked was Pigpen. He was the only one in the bunch with any authenticity.

Maybe I should have kept these thoughts to myself. I haven’t heard from David since…wait….”David.”


December 27, 2004

There is a lot to be said about being “with someone” during the holidays. Kissing under the missle toe, kissing at the stroke of midnight on NYE, well, just having someone to kiss. As great as it would be to have a Someone, I am discovering the easily overlooked joys of singledom. I invite all to add their own discoveries to my list.

1. It is considerably less expensive to fly solo during the holidays.
2. Missing out on the inevitable stress of introducing Someone to your family. As wonderful as they are, it is a well-known fact that we ARE the only family with issues. They must stay concealed.
3. Sleeping diagonally on a fluffy queen-size bed.
4. You don’t have to worry about dividing time between families.
5. The awkward moment created when someone breaks the “we won’t exchange presents this year” rule.

Fun with Latin

December 25, 2004

Veni, Vidi, Visa.

Translation: I came, I saw, I spent.

Happy Christmassing.

Oh, where did I put that exchange rate table…

December 25, 2004

I know I am not the only one watching the “budget.” *side note-I think that is my least favorite word…EVER* But seeing as how I work for a non-profit agency, it’s the holidays, and I recently moved, to say money is “tight” is only to avoid the truth of using the word “non-existent.” There is a distinct feeling that churns in the pit of my stomach at the thought of “10 days til the next payday and already in the red.”

The Good Book says “you have not because you ask not.” So I thought I would ask Grandma for some help since she has money just sitting around. She was so sweet though, and she offered to let me have all the change she has been collecting for…Who knows how long. In my mind, I saw her cute eccentricities as a possible gold mine. I knew she would have mountains of quarters to pile up into neat stacks of four. And of course, I would stumble across a few civil war coins that she failed to mention she had. They would be worth thousands. (too much Antique Road Show, I know) And the best part was that I knew it wouldn’t cut into her bank account, therefore rendering me guilt-free.

Reality is not nearly as fortunate. I will spare the sorting details. But at the end of the audit, the whole experience afforded me $12.44 US and 199.5 Francs. Imagine having to explain to an 86 year old woman with a heart of gold that the French money is good, just not here.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. $12.44 is better than $-23.67. I can TOTALLY get back to Charleston on a half of a tank of gas. And Sara almost has me convinced to join her in Paris in the spring. Does anyone know what 199.5 Francs will buy you in Paris? No, really. I’m asking. Does anyone know?

Second Edition-one side of the story

December 21, 2004

Do you ever see praying like rubbing a genie lamp? I mean, the thing with genies is that they grant your request, but it gets spun in a rather disagreeable way. For example, “Genie, I wish I could speak Spanish.” A flash of light, some smoke and glitter…Y Aye de mi! No hablo Ingles! Solemente Espanol! No compredo Ingles! Mierda!

A few years ago, I prayed that God would make my life an adventure. For all the desires I have for the normal things in life, I would sacrifice them all if their acquisition meant a life of tepid mediocrity. Since then, I have lived in 11 different places. I spent 3 months living out of my car, at times wondering where I would sleep the next night. This is not what I had in mind when I asked for “adventure.” I have prayed that God would heal relationships that were hurting. He chose to do this by removing them from my life all together. He left me clinching my fists in an attempt to will myself to trust Him that the ache will subside. This is not what I meant by “heal.”

God’s primary purpose is to glorify Himself, and He chooses to do this by forming us into His image. But this always seems to be a process of pain. Enough of this happens and you may find yourself struggling with the same thing with which I struggle…Day…In…Day…Out. I want to be different. I want to be more like Christ. But I fear that peace has become an idol to me. My desire to please God is often overshadowed by my desire to avoid pain. Even when I “make all the right choices,” it is rooted in the desire to not hurt. I find myself cringing at God. I just know that He is waiting for the right moment to hurt me. Oh, I am confident that it is out of love and not out of spite. Never-the-less, I cringe.

You hear stories of brothers and sisters running head long into God with their swords drawn ready to conquer the world for Christ. They seem so fearless. God IS good. But He is not safe. And being like Christ requires a willingness to give up everything to have HIM. My list of idols grows as does this entry. My family….My health…My relationships…Dreams for the future….

And they actually let me lead a Bible study…I mean community group.