Thoughts from My Uncle

June 27, 2006

Life is sexually transmitted.

Some people are like a slinky….not really good for anything, and ya can’t help but smile when you push them down the stairs.

Healthy nuts are going to feel really stupid someday, lying in a hospital dying of absolutely nothing.

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America. But we haven’t got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants are terrorist are located. Maybe we should put the guy that runs the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Advertisements

A rose by any other name…might sounds stupid

June 27, 2006

I am currently reading a book called Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin, by Cornelius Plantinga. Don’t I sound smart? And it’s not just that the title contains the word breviary. It was written my a man named Cornelius Plantinga. His name makes him sound like he was friends with St. Augustine, or some other brilliant philospher of yore. All of the really heady writers have great names. Jonathan Edwards. Leo Tolstoy. And don’t get me started on how cool/smart you sound if you only offer initials. C.S. Lewis. T.S. Elliot.

This is a pointless post meant only to say that I don’t think it would have the same ring if the book was by a guy named, let’s say, Gene or Ted or Clint.

I’m just sayin’


The problem of sin is that sin is a problem.

June 26, 2006

“Self-deception about our sin is a narcotic, a tranquilizing and distoring suppression of our spiritual central nervous system. What’s devastating about it is that when we lack an ear for wrong notes in our lives, we cannot play right ones or even recognize then in the performance of others.” –Cornelius Plantinga

I think when it comes down to it, most people do not understand the seriousness of sin. I think most people think of sin as breaking a set of rules. The company I work for has a set of standards and procedures for operation. When I was in high school, curfew was 11. Like a first grade class has a lamenated list of rules hanging on the black board, we are all bound by a list of do’s and don’ts.

People think sin is breaking one of said rules. But sin is not the spiritual equivalent of talking out of turn, or blowing off work at 3pm.

Imagine that you are walking home in the rain. It’s cold and windy. When you walk in the door, your mom brings you a warm towel from the dryer and wraps it around you as she hugs you. She sets you down in front of the fireplace and brings you hot chocolate and warm cookies from the oven. She sits down next to you and asks you about your day. You turn to her, cookie in hand, and spit in her face. That is sin.

Sin is not a problem because we break the rules that were establish by a loving Creator. Sin is a problem because it is giving the bird to a loving Creator. Sin is a break in relationship.

Religions all over the world deal with sin by lamenating a list of dos and dont’s and telling people that the way to enlightenment/peace/righteousness is by following the list to a tee. Other religions remove the relational aspect of sin, and therefore consider it adequate to focus on human endevors to meet a standard. But everything we do has a twinge of pride or ego or the motive of self-glorification. We are undone.

Sin is serious. I believe people reject God, in part, because they minimize the gravity of sin. And it may be one of Satan’s most devastating lies that sin is inconsequential. And if we are all basically “ok”, then there is no need for a Saviour.

There is a common belief that if your good outweights your bad, then you will be in Heaven. Let’s think about this for a moment. A man robs a bank. He is caught on camera, witnesses testify against him, the money is found in his house and he confesses to the crime. The defence lawyer uses this as his justification. “Your honor, yes, my client is guilty, but he always pays his taxes on time. He visits his mother often. He even donated a large sum of money to the local homeless shelter. Surely these acts of generosity and kindess are enough to outweigh his crimes?” What judge would accepts this?

Neither will a Holy, Just God accept this from us. It’s not about what we do right. It’s about our sin. And He would not be a just God if there was no retribution for our sins.

So, how is it with you? Holy God does not overlook the need for justice. He took the punishment on Himself. Instead of falling to our knees in gratitude, we puff up our collective self-righteous chest, flip Him a bird, and go about donating money and visiting our mother.


It’s official

June 26, 2006

Dear Current Interest,

It was so nice of you to invite me to lunch – every week for the last month. I appreciate that you are “delighted” with my company. You have been very kind and attentive, and I have enjoyed you very much. I especially enjoyed meeting your girlfriend. Wow, I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend, but there she was. And she is so nice. Thank you for introducing us.

Without reservation, it must be said that I am a horrible judge of character. Seriously, I need someone to filter people for me!


Twisted Lexicon

June 20, 2006

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Cheryl to Jodi: Use the word “sublime” tomorrow. That word doesn’t get used enough.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Jodi to Cheryl: I used the word today. Well, I said “subliminal.”

Cheryl to Jodi: Uh, yeah, that’s a completely different word…


Overheard in Barnes and Noble

June 13, 2006

“My girlfriend is in the worst mood. She is PMSing and having caffine withdraw.”

“Dude, that’s like the perfect storm.”


A cyber-reminder from a dearly missed roommate

June 9, 2006

We have it backwards. We desire to be worshipped and adored, forgetting that we were made FOR worship. When we take up our cross daily, the mark made by it dragging behind covers our own footprints, leaving only the mark of the Saviour.

I’ll be home on Monday…