I miss my husband. Not the way I miss my family that lives 3 hours away. I miss him the way plain coffee misses the ingredients that make it a grande, iced, non-fat, sugar-free hazelnut mocha. I miss his presence in my life; our friendship, making memories and traditions, having him to help me think through decision.

My friend David said that it is important to surrender our desire for marriage. But to me, that’s like surrendering my desire to be a girl. I just am. In the same way, I KNOW my heart was made to encourage and love some wonderful man. I was made to be a help-mate and a mother. It’s not so much if, but when.

And it’s the when that stirs my heart with longing. To add to the anticipation, I like someone. Oh, I don’t know him very well, but what I know of him is intriguing beyond words. And he seem…aware of my presence, too. And so I wait….

Today, a friend asked me how I was doing. I told her that I need patience. I don’t need Him to give me patience. Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit. I need patience to manifest itself as I seek my Jesus and rejoice in Him. Patience will naturally bloom from that seed.

I was thinking of my Sweet Love, and started wondering if He longs for His bride with the same groaning. Only the Father knows the right time for His Son to claim His bride. I wonder if Jesus looks at Abba every now and then with “Could today be the day?” in His eyes. Surely He anticipates this holiest of Unions with a deep longing and breathless anticipation.

Jesus and I are both sure that our great love is soon to be realized, but only our Father knows when. I wonder if He daydreams, too.

May I be filled with His Spirit so that I can wait for my love with the same joyful surrender He has as He waits for His.


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