I had lunch with a friend today. We’ll call her “Sam.” After dining, I decided to buy a candle. In a display of “I’m about to be jobless” sillyness, I kissed the chosen candle. I just do that sort of thing. It’s part of my charm.
Sam: Are you really gonna buy a Christmas candle already?
Me: MMM Yes. It smells great! (kisses the candle)
Sam: Well, you kiss it, you keep it. I wish it worked that way with men.
Me: We’d still be alone…
(adendum) Then “Sam” said “damn it.”