Not menopause. Changing careers. Yesterday, I took a big bite out of the humble pie that has been a staple of my unemployment diet. I am working a temp job, answering phones. The people teaching me how to use the phones don’t mean to sound condescending when they say, “So, do you think you understand how to answer the phone?” Inside I want to yell, “Look lady, one month ago, I had a job that I was good at, people repected me, and didn’t want me to leave. That job allowed me to meet the President and sit in meetings with member of the Cabinet. Having dinner with national figures was not uncommon. Please don’t talk to me like I am doing this because it was my dream job!” But instead I squeaked out a submissive, “Yeah. I’m good.”
It made me realize how much of my identity was established by what I did. I was good at my job. There were things I loved about it. Yesterday I started to “look back to Egypt.” But I don’t think on it too long. My brother says it’s a bit like breaking up with someone. In the midst of the loneliness, you only think of the good parts of the relationship, not the reasons why you broke up. I left the old job because I was tired of thinking about STDs. I find it ironic that in order to remember why I left, I have to think about the STDs. But I digress.
Be careful how you treat people. I use to tell rookies that one of the most important things they could ever do is to treat everyone as if they are the keynote speaker. You never know when the spandex clad guy you ignored in the elevator will turn out to be the head of the organization you are meeting with the next day. Personal experience taught me this.
I am not what I do. Which is good because right now, I am answering phones, delivering food, doing photo shoots and house/dog sitting. That’s an identity crisis waiting to happen! I’m not who I know. I’m not important because important people say nice things about me. I am important because I am His favorite. I will try to remember that when I walk into work today, and they ask me if I know how to file.