45.2

i feel good. peace. and it’s not just because mom and amy put some money in my account. the peace came first. now i just have to remember that my trust is not in the money that is there now, but in the God who is there now. that being said, i am enjoying the first starbucks i’ve had in a long while. and oh, i am enjoying it.

this morning i was thinking back over this past year and how Jesus has been so good. wow. that word just doesn’t seem big enough. He has been setting me free and renewing me at hyperspeed. most of all, He has taught me that He is my Lover. my husband. my provider. my protector. He even corrects me with such Tenderness. He even opened a jar for me yesterday. i hate that there were moments when i was feeling sorry for myself or whining. in those moments i was not focused on His proven character, but on how i was feeling or what i could see (or not see, as the case may be). in those tough moments, i complain to Him that i am tired of being tested. but isn’t that what i do to Him? i am constantly asking Him to prove Himself. He doesn’t sigh heavily and roll His eyes. He just proves Himself faithful again. how awesome is the Lord Most High.

may He find me faithful in the test.

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