It’s no secret that our nation is polarized on almost every issue imaginable. After 9-11, our nation feigned unity but only because we were all angry at the same people. And by “people” I mean whomever was responsible for the attacks, and that “person/people” was/is as ambiguous as our concept of unity. It’s no wonder that we feel the lack of leadership from both the blue and the red states. How can the pluralism in our society be reduced and then represented by two major parties? The only national vision is one characterized by individuals demanding “rights” regardless of its impact on others. We spend millions on breast lifts and shows dedicated to breast lifts while children starve, here and abroad. Our “leaders” are more interested in getting their party re-elected than standing up for the oppressed. We are a nation of navel-gazers. And as Babylon did, we will crumble from the inside out. We are literally One Nation Under gods. And we seem shocked at the social disorder. But who can stand up for truth when we can’t even define truth?

There is one place that America does, in fact, come together. One place where we all feel a sense of togetherness, family, unity. Yes, ladies and gentleman, we can all meet at the table and gorge ourselves on that tasty treat – American Idol. It’s back baby!!! Oh, stop! Even if you’re not watching it, you ARE talking about it.

Top Ten Signs You Are Obsessed with American Idol.

10. You berate your co-workers in British accent, but you’re from Cincinnati
9. Named your three kids “Paula,” “Simon” and “The Other One”
8. Began attending fat camp in hopes of meeting Ruben
7. Your name is Gary and you end each phone conversation with “Gary, out!”
6. You can name more contestants Paula’s slept with than Paula can
5. Your baby’s first word? “Dawg”
4. No number four– writer home watching “American Idol”
3. Your floor is littered with greasy sheets of plastic wrap (sorry, that’s a sign you’re obsessed with American cheese)
2. Before sending letter to California you yell, “You’re going to Hollywood!”
1. Watched the first episode instead of working on your new plan for Iraq

(Disclaimer: I concede the irony in complaining that we are too focused on the trivial while people are starving and then proceed to laud a show that glorifies all that is unside-down about our country. This post was meant to be light hearted and fun. I know that people will choose to focus on the thesis for the first paragraph, but know that it was only a dramatic set up, and was not the point.)

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7 Responses to

  1. Sam says:

    i just lost more brain cells by reading about american idol, let alone watching it. good thing i can watch 24 to redeem myself.

  2. katie says:

    when is the next amazing race?

  3. cheryl says:

    your mom’s the…amazing ra…. (trailing off)

  4. Tammy says:

    Another sign you’re obsessed: You celebrate your 3rd wedding anniversary on January 17, and both of you decide your plans based around the 2 hour premiere of American Idol. Yep, we had a nice dinner and raced home for….American Idol. Not exactly what most people race home for when celebrating an anniversary.

  5. cheryl says:

    i would be happy to be racing home with someone.

  6. Mom says:

    Paula, Simon and Mike

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