I keep hearing girls say the same things about things guys do in conversation, the good and the bad. I thought that I would pass along a few tips to the gentlemen, but as I was writing, it was clear that these tips may be important across the board.
What to do when talking with a girl…or a boy:
In my experience, boys like to talk about themselves. Constantly. And while I do a pretty good job of surrounding myself with interesting people, therefore, I don’t mind the information, I have to say that it can be kind of nice when a guy actually asks how my world is spinning. But not just the “How’s the job hunt” (arm punch) kind of fact finding. I once had a conversation with a guy who asked my opinion on ideas and current issues. I was floored. And a bit smitten.
And while there are no sweeter words than “How was your day?” try asking for a girls thoughts on something she is interested in.
Ex: So, Amy, tell me why you think churches fail to have an in-house graphic designer.
Ex: Sam, tell me your thoughts on the Russian reponse to the US placing an ICMB defense system in Poland?
And this is something all guys need to know. Get out a pen. Do you have one out? Ok. Guys, unless we ask specifically, stop telling us about the girls you want to date. If we want to know, we will ask you. I mean, have we ever been reticent to get into your business? No. It may be hard to understand. Maybe not. But when we listen to you talking about another girl, even if you are not someone we are intereted in, we will compare ourselves to her. And that is a major stumbling block for us. At this age, we are DONE being the chick friend. If you need one, there are lots of 22 year olds around. Seriously though. I don’t think I have any guy friends that do this anymore. But I have lots of girl friends that keep getting hurt because, even though they have tried to convey this boundary, it keeps getting crossed. If you value your ladies, keep to the “don’t tell unless they ask” policy.
Ladies, can I get a witness?
It is entirely possible that the boys will come back with “Why won’t girls just shut up about their lives” and “we don’t like it when ya’ll talk about other guys.” And if that is an issue, by all means, let us know.
For what it’s worth.