Reasons why going to a tennis match is not as much fun as going to a baseball game (or any other sporting event where you’re allowed to talk)

1. Straight up. There is a much more diverse crowd to enjoy at a baseball game. You have black people, white people, Dominicans…there’s your funny hecklers, your serious sports fans, the obnoxious drunk people, and the frat boys that try to start the wave. Its a delightful buffet for people watchers. Tennis matches limit you to rich, white people. Quiet, rich, white people.

2. The music is MUCH better at baseball games. Daniel Island has its own sound track consisting of little more than Kelly Clarkston and John Mayer. If they are feeling really frisky, you might get some Hootie or Maroon 5. Either way, there’s no ACDC Thunderstruck playing for the rookie as he takes his batting stance.

3. If a tennis ball gets hit into the stands, you don’t get to keep it! What the…

4. There’s less envy involved when pointing out the cute third baseman to your roommate than pointing out how hot chick tennis players are to you roommate.

5. Speaking of boys, there are lots of cute boys at both events but at a tennis match, it is obvious that they are there to check out the hot chick tennis players. At a baseball game, they are there to watch the game. It just seems a little more genuine.

6. Come to think of it, all around there’s less hypocrisy at baseball games. You drink a beer. You eat a hot dog or a pretzel. There’s no wine bar or brae cheese stations. To be fair, they did have funnel cakes at the tennis match, but the people I saw with them were hiding while they were eating them.

7. Jeans and a tee shirt are perfectly acceptable at a baseball game. I have never seen so many seersucker suites at a sporting event. It’s not the bloody Kentucky Derby!

8. When your cell phone rings at a baseball game, you answer it. If you can’t hear very well because ACDC’s Thunderstruck is playing for the rookie taking his place in the batter’s box, you talk louder. If your cell phone rings at a tennis match, you get escorted out. Quietly.

9. Did I mention you can actually TALK at baseball games.

10. Baseball games involve more baseball and less tennis.

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3 Responses to Reasons why going to a tennis match is not as much fun as going to a baseball game (or any other sporting event where you’re allowed to talk)

  1. John David Henderson says:

    If you need people from all over the globe, music, and drunk frat boys to make a sports event fun it would probably be a very dull sport. Wine and Cheese are both yummy and everyone knows its not the players its the daughters of the rich white people you are going for. If I wanted to listen to loud 80’s music in the sun I would get stuck on an island with Jonathan.

  2. PAPA ROBBIE says:

    Boxing, soccer & football are more fun to attend IMO. I think that baseball is B O R I N G.

  3. cheryl says:

    sweet boy, that’s because you’ve never been to a game with me!

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