Maybe the “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.” policy should be more widely used

My baby sister is getting married in August. It’s going to be a really fun reception with lots of dancing. I was talking to my older sister about whether or not to bring a date. So is the dilemma when your baby sister gets married first. If I don’t bring a date, people will slug me in the arm all day saying, “Hey, you’re next!” They are right since I am the only one left in the family who’s unmarried. If I bring a date, I will spend the whole weekend answering the “So who’s this guy? *wink wink*” My sister said, “Well, if it’s going to be one or the other, you might as well have someone to bring you drinks and dance with.” She makes a valid point.

Here are some fun responses when you are running into your own well-meaning relatives who are confident that “there’s still time…” When asked, “So, when are you/you two getting married?”

The following are acceptable:

When his divorce is final.
He is eligible for parole in 6 months.
As soon as gay marriage is legalized.
He still has to learn English.
Pretty soon, and I can’t wait. His other wives say they are very happy.
Hopefully before I start showing.

Feel free to add your own as I may need a full arsenal come August.


4 Responses to Maybe the “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.” policy should be more widely used

  1. katie says:

    recently i’ve been using the old trusty “step off.” works well.

  2. Smith says:

    He switches to outpatient rehab in 2 months.
    We’re hammering out the details of the prenump now – as soon as he agrees to stop wearing my underwear, it’s a go.

  3. Tammy says:

    how about:
    1) whoa, slow down. we just took a big step by moving in together.
    2) we’re not getting married. I’m just using him.
    3) the doc says that the STD medication doesn’t really kick in for another few weeks, and I want to make sure I’m not contagious
    4) well, he is my baby daddy
    5) we can’t seem to find enough time between the stints in rehab

    just a few that popped in my head. I’m sure I could come up with more….

  4. cheryl says:


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