Isaiah 40 and an Ativan

My pastor’s son’s name is Tobias. We call him Toby. He is precious! He is the kind of kid who brings perspective into the room when he bounces in. But sometimes Toby can get anxious when he doesn’t know where dad is.

Yesterday Toby was standing at the front of the church when he realized he didn’t know where his dad was. He started to get really upset and scared. I took his hand and told him we would go find his dad together. About the time we were halfway down the aisle someone opened the door of the church, and I saw Shawn standing outside. I told Toby, “I see your dad. He’s just outside.” This did little to calm his heart until he actually saw his dad.

I was thinking that the whole experience was a picture of my life in the last couple of months. It has been so hard to see where my Dad is and what He is trying to teach me. Life has been scary, confusing and painful.

I am so grateful for the friends who have taken my hand, quite literally at times, and have walked me to my Father. I know it’s bad that most days I am just trying to make it through. But His mercy has given me dear friends who have listened and cried with me. They have prayed for me and with me, spoken truth (the gentle and the tough) and sometimes just kicked my butt on an afternoon run. They have offered their homes and their lives to me. Mostly they have just offered their time and concern. And in giving of themselves they point me towards the Father when I can not see or hear Him.


6 Responses to Isaiah 40 and an Ativan

  1. Sam says:

    you offer us the same, cheryl, in being honest, vulnerable, and desirous of loving the Lord no matter how hard it is to even see him past the pain. don’t forget that we need you.

    oh-and that Satan is a big fat liar. i so want to kick him right now!!

  2. Cheryl says:

    Thanks, sam. this too shall pass, eh?

  3. Jared says:

    Someone wiser than I said:

    “How could God ever communicate His messasge to the world of humanity if we were totally squeaky clean…no problems, no struggles, no addictions to deal with, no hurts, no pains. We could never relate to them. Our message would be…come on man…be perfect like me. If you only loved God enough like I do and were as dedicated as I am, you could be perfect to.”

  4. cheryl says:

    i hear you. and that plays out practically as friends have comforted me with the same comfort they received when they went through the same thing. and one day, i n turn will convince someone, against all odds, that they are not losing their mind. God will use this to communicate His love to me during this time and to others around me. great reminder. thanks, J.A Tomlinson, MD

  5. mom says:

    I started reading Shattered Dreams this am. (Sorry, I don’t know how to underline the title in the blog!!) I thought, “This may be where Cheryl is. I would like to suggest she re-read the intro–maybe the entire book–again. And, I thought, Psalms 18 to about 27 seemed applicable to her, too.” So, Cheryl, I would like to suggest you re-read the Intro–maybe the entire book–again. And Ps 18 to 27 might be applicable to you. I see your friends being your community. Cheryl, it’s GOING to be ok. God is working in you, loving you, weeping with you. The Holy Spirit is GROANING for you and THE FATHER ALWAYS ANSWERS HIS PRAYERS. “Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.” Keep looking UP as an infant–empty, helpless, broken, anticipating His Glory. Remember the many times He has put you into “trouble” and has brought you through and you increased in loving Him and trusting Him. It really DOES take RUTHLESS TRUST! I am suffering with you and I am empty of all but to point you to trusting Him. You are not alone. Besides us humans who love you sooooo much and wish this to end–FOREVER–, God is closer than you think or feel. Come empty. He will take care of it. See you tomorrow! Mom

  6. Steven says:

    “Come empty.”

    Freaking fantastic sentence. Awesome. Seriously.

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