May 31, 2008
You know how there are stages of grief? Denial, anger, negotiating, acceptance…I’m missing one. Doesn’t matter. Anyway, in the last few months I have discovered the stages of transitioning to a new city. Maybe these stages are specific to me. Who knows? In the beginning, I was back in the Holy City every couple of weeks, so it didn’t seem that I was really gone. Then I started to feel less and less attached to the city itself, although I was still talking daily with my friends. Not all of them, but there was contact every day. I finally reached that mile-marking moment when I realized that my heart was not there anymore. It was freeing. There was excitement to engaging in a new city, if not with its people quite yet.
One aspect of moving to a different city is the change in relationships. It takes a lot more energy to let people in on your life and be in their’s when you not actually part of their day. Every conversation now includes logistical updates to give the deeper talks context. These details were not needed before because I was in the details. With the added effort comes the realization that it is impossible to keep up with everything and everyone. There’s just not enough time or emotional energy to go around. This week, I started feeling strong feelings of guilt for not keeping up with everyone. My guilt turned to loneliness when I realized that they are not taking the effort to keep up with me. Friends with whom I used to enjoy daily talks are not on my “To do before the end of the week” list. I’m not in their lives anymore.
There’s no point to this except to hope that someone who has transitioned to a new city can give me a sense of solidarity in this. My advice to anyone moving is make sure you are finding friends at the same pace you are discovering you new WIFI spot. After all, a new coffee spot can’t compete with having a jogging partner.
I’m just saying.
May 26, 2008
Cheryl: See, here’s the thing. The Holy Grail, the Arch, occultic religions – these are all things we have a reasonable belief in. There is an archiological foundation for building a story. But Aliens?
Mom: They just wanted to try something new, I guess.
Cheryl: But Indiana Jones is an icon. You can’t mess with him. It’s like putting another star on the flag just for kicks. It’s just not right.
Mom: You can’t put Indy in a box.
Cheryl: No, mom. It’s God. You can’t put God in a box.
And another thing, the computer graphics…since when did Indy have an affair with Jane of the Jungle and procreate a son who could swing with the monkeys?! (deep sigh) It’s like feeling the pain of Rocky V all over again. Hollywood needs to know when to say when.
May 25, 2008
I don’t know about you, but I am tired of being bummed out every time I turn the radio on. I’m sorry you hate your father. I’m sorry your relationship didn’t work out. I’m sorry dey all hos. Ease up. It’s almost summer!
For those in need of musical refreshment, check out Explorers Club. In their debut album, Freedom Wind, these serious musicians drop a vintage sound that offers strong vocals, tight harmonies and full intrumentation that frame light-hearted lyrics of summer lovin’. They will make you happy. Your convertible, cookout, road trip won’t be the same without this record!
May 16, 2008
*I can not confirm that every person of dark pigment in this video was indeed African American, and not wanting to leave out anyone, I chose to use the term “black people.” I am intending to be inclusive.
May 16, 2008
I hate you with all my heart.
I don’t lylas,
May 12, 2008
After the last two years, I can say that there were many times when the only way to discribe the way I felt was “destitute.” Completely empty of anything worth while, I just felt like a crumpled nothing at His feet, waiting for rest and restoration.
While I was in such a prostrate place, I decided to learn Italian. I just think it sounds pretty. And apparently there’s this thing called a library where you can get stuff to learn Italian and not have to pay for it.
Since I am crashing at my parent’s house, the plan was to have all my mail sent to my office until I found a place of my own. And having lost my job, I am in the process of having everything forwarded again to my parents house. I’m in between the in between – in that place I was shocked to find really exists. As it turns out, I don’t qualify for a library card. No seriously. I can’t get a library card without proof of residence.
“Well, can your parents come by and check anything out for you.”
“I know you’re going to think this is just a line, but they literally just left for Greece. Isn’t there anything you can do?”
I’ve heard that line in movies that goes something like, “When I get through with you, you’re not even going to be able to get a library card.” I now feel the sting of such a threat. It’s not pleasant.
May 6, 2008
I’ve had the conversation with every girlfriend I have. She’s in this pseudo relationship with a guy friend. There are feelings, but nothing ever goes anywhere. They meet this need in each others life, but let’s be honest, they are met half assed at best. Mostly it just leads to confusion and more frustration – not to mention unsecurities and all the “why not me’s” that go along with being someone’s place warmer until they find someone they want to make out with.
She facebooked me about the Sex blog and how she was dealing with the same frustrations. She told the same story I have heard/lived over and over. As I was trying to muster up some sort of encouragement, He showed me something.
I don’t know how God decides the timing of relationships and whatnot, other than to say that the timing is perfect for our good and His glory. But I will say this. To all of you who have been or are at this place, when God does send someone into your life, as a gift from His heart, for the purpose of refining you, giving you companionship, and a place for lots of safe, rowdy sex, NOTHING ABOUT IT WILL BE HALF ASSED.
Can I get an Amen?