Internal dialogue. Interupted.

I got the job! I’m actually going to be able to take care of myself! And other people! No more shame of being poor! But wait. I like poor people. What if they don’t feel like they can relate to me anymore because I have a job? What if I get my own place and then lose my job? Wow. I can get my own place now. And have friends over. I CAN COOK FOR FRIENDS! I can have my first St. Pat’s Day party here! This is going be so great!What if I’m not good at it? Worse, what if I am good at it? What if I make a lot of money and then stop depending on You? I mean, the last two years have been so hard, but I have had more of You than ever. I don’t want to stop realizing that I need You. I get really prideful when I’m good at something. What if I lose sight of everything You’ve done for me and in me. I don’t want to be that rich person that can’t love on the poor and rejected. This sucks! What am I doing?!

Um, relax. Do you remember what I showed you? I am leading you into a new season. I am leading you. My hand is on your back, just like I showed you, Cher. I’m going with you. Breathe. This is just a new place I am taking you because there are people there that need me. Nothing’s changed. Believe me. You still need me! I’m here. Breathe. I’m here.

Ok. But don’t let me forget that I need you. Nothing’s worth that.

Deal. You really need to relax.

Yeah. I get that…


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