I was thinking about what it means to be the beloved of Jesus, and that truth being the center of my identity. Whenever I come through a trial, challenge or “season” (so hating that term) I always look to see if I’m more patient, more at peace, less selfish. If I see that I have in fact grown, I thank God for His work in my heart long enough to see my new found freedom become the mark of my worthiness. Desperate to measure up to the standards I assume others hold me to, I manipulate His gracious transformation into my own personal bill board for spirituality.
But after a morning of Brennan Manning’s Abba’s Child, and Shawn’s sermon, I’m thinking that the only question I should bother my overly introspective heart with is, “Am I more convinced of Christ’s love for me than I was before this happened?” After all, if I am more satisfied that He loves me, then it doesn’t matter if I’m still messy inside.