I haven’t written in a really long time. Well, that’s not entirely true. I haven’t written on my blog in a really long time. My journal, however, is filling up quickly. On the suggestion of one of my pastors, I’ve been writing all that I’ve been thinking and learning in the last month. And on the strong suggestion of a few friends, I’ve decided to leave those thoughts largely between me and Jesus. They may be ready for public consumption at some point, but right now, they are private conversations between a girl’s broken heart and her Healer.
But as brutal as the last weeks have been, God has been speaking clearly to me. In my exhaustion, I cry out to Him for peace and rest, He assures me that this season is designed to bring deeper peace and rest. I am already seeing the freedom He has for me as He gently corrects by illuminating the corners of my soul, and asking me to just let go. Apparently there are many corners needing Divine attention.
Basking in the afterglow of one such liberation, I told Lori that I would like to think that I will never face the pattern of sin that landed me in that prison. And it’s not just about me. I have friends that struggle with sins they wish they didn’t face. I know there are times we are freed from slavery, never to face those demons again. We’ve all heard stories of people who, after meeting Jesus never again felt the pull of anger, drug addition or pornography. How we long to be freed from the darkness in our hearts and to never face it again. And the hope we have is that one day we will be free forever. Come soon.
I was telling Lori about my hope that I will never again struggle with this particular bent of my humanity, fully conceding this was rooted more in a consuming aversion to pain than a desire for holiness. I know how quickly I can surrender my freedom for the familiar yoke of slavery. I fear the day I when I realize I’ve walked right back into the prison from which He rescued me. From the work Jesus has done and is doing in her life, she dropped this wisdom. Hardcore.
“Ya know Cheryl, we all want to live in victory. But living in victory doesn’t mean we no longer face the temptation. It just means that we choose God’s way instead. That’s what living in victory really is. And that is ours everyday.”
He is not a victor who never goes to battle.
To the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, be encouraged. He is faithful to continue protecting us and delivering us over and over. Don’t be afraid. The victory has already been won. And He is faithful to grant us victory until that day when the struggle is finally over.