My friend, Jodi, is amazing. She’s beautiful and smart and deep. I am constantly amazed that she hasn’t been snatched up. Any man would be blessed to be in her company. She’s a great girl. Recently, she was set up on a date with a guy by a friend of a friend. In the grand tradition of female conversations, she relayed the evening’s events in enough detail to allow me to enjoy the date vicariously but without over-analyzing every word and head nod. We’re not 29 after all. Things were off to a reasonably encouraging start. During the date, she discovered they share a common hobby – Scrabble. The guy, before he DIDN’T walk her to her car, told her he had a good time. Jodi is not the kind of girl to do a guys work for him, but she tried to give him encouragement to call her again with a well placed, “Lets get together to play Scrabble sometime.” And apparently he agreed because he did invite her to play scrabble. On Facebook.
I have another friend who met a guy and thought he was really great. He thought she was pretty rad too, or so he said. But all he ever did was email and text her, and then wondered by she was confused and didn’t pick up on his interest.
These aren’t bad guys. I think they’re pretty normal. I think these stories are all too common. And that’s where the frustration comes in. Is this the new way men interact with women? Is this replacing the old pick-up-the-phone-and-ask-her-out method that was working so well? Or are guys just hiding behind technology? Is perpetual texting the new way to let a girl down easy? Is this just how it’s done now or should we expect more?
Sorry. that was a lot of questions at once.
Call me high maintenance, but taking a walk and having a conversation seems like a nice way to get to know someone. I get that we’re all busy and I’m not expecting a man to invest the time to sit and create prose that would make Juliet swoon. But it seems that at some point, verbal interaction – inflection, conversational continuity and nuance-is important to growing a relationship.
Guys, be our Rosetta Stone for this. Translate what he’s thinking. We need some help, because the girls I’m talking to, myself included, don’t want to miss out on a great guy because we made the mistake of expecting human communication.